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PIT'S BIT'S
from Nurburgring
by Nicholas Frankl
TACH European Bureau
Where's the glamour in F1 gone? That was the subject on my mind as I wondered around the pits / paddock yesterday here in Germany. And I wasn't the only one. Distraught to find that not a single star - not to mention starlet - was on the scene I headed off to find a suitable driver to confirm my worst fears. One that would know the bottom line, cause the drivers always get to meet the groupie's before we lowly journalists.
My target? The rather cool and disgustingly handsome (so my sister tells me) David Coulthard. He was fresh out of his "look at me I'm important red overalls" so it was more difficult to find him. (The strange thing about these drivers is that, once they get their uniforms and helmets off, they seem to blend in rather innocuously with the F1 melee).
But, find him I did, tucking into some much needed pasta in the back of the McLaren motor home.
Now I should warn all ladies in the audience who might have had plans for our DC that he is very much off the market. His girl, Andrea, is very lovely and they're been an item for over three years. However, this doesn't stop a man noticing, and nor should it! But, David agreed that there was actually very little around to notice. " I can't understand it" he said " I would have thought that the powers that be would be keen to attract as many celebrities as possible, you know, give the thing a bit of local glamour. But they don't seem to be interested".
Another driver who made this point was Alain Prost. Prosty went so far as to suggest that the flood gates be opened, the girls let in. Now don't misunderstand me. I'm not being sexist when I say girls mean glamour. But anyone who's been to a paddock and experienced the smell of the fuel vapours and felt the vibration of the engines through the ground will except that it's a pretty sexy place to be, and that, combined with beautiful people is what F1 is supposed to be all about.
Alas, I feel things are not about to change. Except for the usual Marlboro brolly bunch who are rushed on and off the grid before you're blinked, the chances of getting passes these days are so slim that you have to be a grade A' celeb to get near the place. Worst of all, when they do arrive, as with the Jaggers (Mick and Jerry) in Portugal last year, they hide in motor homes and surround themselves with body guards, looking almost surprised that journalists and photographers from over 100 countries should be
interested in their movements.
The answer. Simple. If you or someone you know are a serious celebrity, and no, appearing in the local art house theatre is not enough, and you; A) Like F1. & B) Can get to a country that has a race. Then send the Ed some E' mail and he'll pass it onto me. I can then make all the right noises in the corridors of power, and between us we'll put the Fun back into F1.
Anyway enough of this superficial moaning. The other German ace ( Heinz Harold Frentzen) is off to Williams next year. That's the rumour and when I asked the man he simply smiled with a broad grin. Heinz is reckoned to be one of the fastest around, but has always put the team and his responsibility to it, before his own personal goals. Handicapped by a poor chassis and not the best engine around, he has struggled to perform with the Sauber-Ford so far this year, but the signs are there. Further research has revealed that he and Schumi don't get on too well. Not only did Heinz used to beat the Champ when they were team mates with Mercedes "Junior Team", but the Wunderboy also managed to steel Heinz's girlfriend and went so far as to marry her. Needless to say it would give the 28 year old a bit of a kick to able to able to play the game with similar machinery, we'll just have to wait and see.
Young gun Mika Salo (he who lives 250 meters from Hakkinen in Finland yet appears not to get on terribly well, - what is it with these compatriots?) Recounted a fine tale of the time, two years ago, when he took his Japanese girlfriend for a spin around the old north circuit. Two laps of the 20 kilometre course strapped into a Porsche 911 GT 2, and the poor girl had gone into some sort of traumatised shock. Nothing a quick visit to the hospital and some sedatives didn't cure, or so he said. Clearly the plan failed though, as she's still around!
Rumour of a rather serious nature surround the Ferrari camp. It's understood that the politics are about to claim yet another assets to the team, this time in the form of one John Barnard. He and Luca Di Montezemolo have had a bit of a falling out and the word is that unless the wounds can be healed in double-quick time Ferrari will be looking a new designer.
Barnard does however have a contract until next July so dropping him now would not only be suicidal for the team but they would have to pay him a fortune as well. I hope that in the best Italian tradition things will be resolved over some pasta, and a nice bottle of red at Cavallino's.
